Surgery

Since Covid, mastectomy and reconstruction surgery is now considered outpatient. However, since we had a 2 hour drive, I was approved to stay overnight. Thank goodness, because I do not know how anyone can go home after this type of procedure. At one point, the nurse brought in seven pills for me to take and gave me a shot in my stomach to prevent blood clots. I don’t remember much of that evening but Danielle and Jeff have filled me in on a few things. Apparently, I just wanted a banana 😂  so for my dinner meal they ordered chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy and a banana. They bring my meal, no banana! I guess they were out of bananas.  I was pretty bummed about that! Jeff went to get 5 guys. Danielle stayed with me which I don’t remember, I must have dozed off.  I guess I woke up and ate some of my burger and fries. Jeff left for the hotel and the rest of the night was a blur of nurses coming in and checking on me. I was up and out of hospital by 10:00ish and felt ok, must of had some good pain meds working still. Oh yeah, Danielle told me that as soon as I got to the recovery room, I was asking if they even gave me pain medicine because I was in pain and needed more. My rib hurt the most and still does. They stitch the tissue expander for reconstruction to a rib. Ouch! 

My Journey

 I am nine days postop and I’m going to try to journal what my journey has been thus far. Wednesday, June 8. Surgery day! Well let’s back up to Tuesday, I was frantically trying to clean everything and make sure I had all the things done. Plus, I had to take Preston back to the doctor because he had his toenail removed the day before because of infection. So, when the nurse called to confirm my appointment I wrote down 9:30 arrival 11:30 surgery on a piece of paper in my car and put it in the middle console and went back into the store with Chloe. Originally, my surgery was scheduled for 11:30 arrival and 1:30 surgery. I never looked at that paper again and had it in my head that surgery was still at 1:30 with 11:30 arrival.  The night before a dear friend, Heather, organized a nice prayer over me before we left Tuesday evening and I truly felt at peace. So, backing up again it was even a struggle for me to reach out to some of my past prayer warriors to help me get through this. I continued to pray to God and he put  a few people on my heart to reach out to to ask for prayer during this time and I’m so glad I listened to his nudging! So, a small group of family and friends showed up and everyone said a blessing over me.  I did not feel comfortable telling all of my Facebook friends of my diagnosis so I created a page called faithful prayer warriors of people who I felt comfortable telling and knowing they would pray for me. Danielle also created a meal train which I felt strange about at first, too.  I just don’t understand why I struggle with asking for help. However, the meal train has been a huge blessing. So, back to surgery day we get up, get ready, pray with the kids and head out around 9:15. At 10 o’clock the hospital called and asked if I’m coming in for my surgery at 11:30. I freaked out explaining I thought I was supposed to be there at 11:30 and  basically Jeff just drove a fast is he good. We made it by 11 and surgery started around 12:30 so it’ll all work out. I guess I was just so scattered the day before and I never even pulled out that piece of paper to double check the times  and in my defense the nurse who called me to confirm, her dogs were barking and she was quite scattered as well. 🙃

Cancer, the word no one wants to hear

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in late March. I will always remember Chloe‘s night of percussion as I got the phone call about 2 hours before we had to leave. We cried, we embraced each other and prayed. We put on our best happy face and enjoyed a wonderful concert. Looking back it was a blessing that we had this concert to attend as we each processed the news no one ever wants to get! Also, Austin was home for his spring break so we were all together, another blessing! It all started in November,  I went in for a routine mammogram and was called right back the following day to come in for a diagnostic mammogram. In the following months I had a needle biopsy, a MRI (one of my worst memories) which warranted a double needle biopsy, and eventually a surgery which finally detected the cancer. All of the pathology was coming back atypical cells, which can be precancerous, before this surgery. 

I had a second surgery in April to remove the cancer and 3 lymph nodes. Praise God the cancer has not spread to lymph nodes; however, they did not get clear margins again which brings me to my next major surgery. After two surgical biopsy’s without clear margins, a mastectomy is the only option. Do I trust in God, YES! He has been so faithful through it all! He has never left my side and I have found joy and peace even in the midst of this trial.  Am I scared, yes, mostly of the pain because I’m a bit of a baby when it comes to pain and just being stuck inside! Summer is my favorite and I love all things outdoors. I know it is a short time of healing (4-6 weeks) and life will get back to normal! I will choose to focus on all of the blessings and be thankful for all that God has done for me every day! I am thankful for a husband who has been my chauffeur and daily dose of positivity when I get down! Jeff takes me to every appointment at Barnes and we’ve actually enjoyed  the car rides, great lunches, and time off together! My favorite memory was on a beautiful spring day we took 61 from Arnold all the way to Oak Ridge, windows rolled down and sunroof open, it was perfect! Looking back, I see the evidence of God working through every step of my cancer journey! Right down to the sweetest class I could have ever asked for. They never knew what was going on but they gave me strength to be strong, stay positive, and helped me more than they will ever know! I loved that I was able to finish the year strong and being greeted by their precious smiles and hugs upon all of the days off kept me going!   God doesn’t promise a life without trials but He does promise to be with you through all of the highs and lows! 

Finally, I am thankful for a doctor who did not dismiss the atypical cells and take the wait and see in 6 months approach! The type,  ductal carcinoma is cancer (carcinoma) that happens when abnormal cells growing in the lining of the milk ducts change and invade breast tissue beyond the walls of the duct. Once that happens, the cancer cells can spread. So, I am so glad the cancer was found before it spread to lymph nodes!   I know I went through a lot but they also found it in the earliest stage!

A couple years ago I started praying about a word for the year. God always answers. Through the year I pray and ask God to change me or strengthen me in some way and draw me closer to Him. Past words have been breathe, trust, peace, joy, and hope is the word God placed on my heart in January. So, when I am weak I lean into the God of hope! 

May you all be filled with the hope of God and trust in Him so you may experience true peace in trials. 

Even when we don’t see it, God is working! 

Catching up

 I always forget about this blog. I do a lot of journaling during my prayer time but wish I would have kept up with us through 2020 Covid and all that we experienced. However, I have lots of pictures and memories of the fun we made during that very difficult time. The hardest part was watching Austin have to miss out on the closure of his senior year! Will forever be grateful that he was at least able to have a graduation in late June. We are now two years past the start of Covid and things are finally back to normal for the most part despite to the awful state our economy is in. 

Hard to believe Austin will be junior college, Preston a senior in high school and Chloe an 8th grader! Every stage is different and I embrace every moment as they are all growing up! They are our greatest blessings!